Little Too Much Summer Fun

As I sit here on the verge of tears and slightly embarrassed, I have to admit it, to myself and anyone reading this. I can not keep (trying) to lie about it because I need the accountability. I done fucked up and I gained weight back. I’m completely flabbergasted as to how this happened. Oops wait, must quit lying. I know exactly how it happened. Tacos and margaritas. Beer. Camping, birthdays and just way too much fun over the summer. Its hard to say exactly how much my I gained. Around 10 pounds. My weight had been fluctuating between 145 and 150 and got as low as 140 and now its between 150 and 158. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH why, why did I do this. I worked so fucking hard last year and I got sexy af now I’ve turned back into a potato. Tis the season, since Halloween is coming up I might as well dress as a PUMPKIN. No no no that’s why I am here to stfu and get this under control before I’m right back where I started.

Uggggghhhhh my trainer is going to be sooooo mad at me!

Working out was never the problem, I will never stop going to the gym. But that doesn’t even matter if you eat and drink like shit.

I am obsessed with challenges so I tend to join the 12 week challenge at my gym. So after posting this I will be recommitting to the group. Recommitting to me. I will also be getting a airtight plan in place. AND NO FREAKING ALCOHOL

I need a goal to work towards. I’m thinking Victoria secret model by the new year???? Ya, ya that sounds great. On a real note I just really need my skinny girl clothes to begin fitting me properly again. They were getting a little snug, making me really nervous. I was looking good af this past summer in my new dresses and shorts and I plan on being even better next year.

Oi. I never thought I would be one that this would happen too. But I’m glad I’m choosing to fix it rather than get all mad at myself and fall completely off and give up.

 

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Juicing, the beginning.

Every culture/religion around the world has some type of fasting and has done so for thousands of years.

 

Ugh. So I totally did not believe in fasts or juice cleanses or cleanses of any type. Our bodies are designed to “cleanse” themselves. Our bodies also need the fuel, food and calories to work. A fast would just be starving yourself. I BELIEVE IN FOOD DAMN IT! However, I began meeting people who did cleanses and fasts and survived. And loved it.  Whoa. Whoa whoa. Wait a second here….

So it peaked my my interest. Started questioning these people and go ogling shit and found so many positive things about juicing.

(You most research for yourself and for your own opinions!! I’m not doing the hard work for you. Hahahaha)

And actually most of the negative things I found were due to pre existing  conditions, non of which I have. Or interactions with medicine, I’m not prescribed anything. Or kidney problems, not me (yet). Or if you’re prediabetic, also not me.

Another big one was that the juice (being unpasteurized) is vulnerable to harmful bacteria. Just don’t that that ish sir for a week and drink it fresh and it should be all good!

I read a lot of thing about fiber this and protein that, but you know what, I’ve been putting shitty ass shit in my body for almost 30 years I’m pretty sure a few days of fresh juice only won’t do anymore harm than the past!

In closing, I’d have to imagine that there must be something positive that comes from fasting considering people all over the world continue to do it. Whether it will effect my mind body or soul I don’t know but

Fuck it

Yolo!!!!

How Day 1 of the cleanse went coming soon… (which might be forever because I never have time to write these damn blogs because if kids and life… ttyl)19942969_10159012882385357_6002452098155318136_o.jpg

Photo shoot for my 30th birthday. Too lovely not to share ;)~

 

Fat Girl Problems

  • Unable to see your feet
  • Unable to see your lady junk
  • Chub rub
  • Especially when the Chub rub wears out the inner thighs of your pants
  • Poor balance when putting on pants
  • Sitting down to put in socks
  •  Tying shoes 😂😂😂
  • Leaning awkwardly to one side to wipe 
  • Unable to cross legs to sit like a “lady”
  • The debate of whether or not you can fit between spaces
  • Not being able to fit between spaces and knocking shit over with your massive boobs belly or butt (never had to worry about the butt because I just had a back with a line in it)
  • Roller coasters
  • Seat belts
  • Painting toes nails
  • Sitting at a booth in a restaurant
  • “Ooo when are you due” …bitch I am not pregnant just fat. Geez get your shit together people, don’t ever ask that!!
  • When your boobs steal all the fabric from a shirt and needing to wear an under shirt to hide belly. Stupid layers
  • Hugging amd being able to actually wrap your arms around someone (which I didn’t even realize a difference until my bf and I lost a bunch of weight and hugged each other)
  • Getimg stuck in clothes in a fitting room
  • Shaving legs
  • No lap for my kids to sit on becaise it was being eaten by a belly
  • Tiny seats at a movie theater or other events. Recently discovered the extra room on an airplane seat

Barf, granny panties or ugly ass bras.

 

What am I missing??

Dear Brain

Dear Brain,

I do believe you missed the memo that we aren’t hippo size anymore. I’m going to need you to catch up and get with the program, quit trying to trick me into thinking I’m bigger than I actually am. I would also appreciate it if you would quit making me so self conscious when I wear my new form fitting clothing. I know, I know we’re used to wearing leggings and baggy hoodies to “hide” the body, or the boyfriends clothes because that’s all that fits. But seriously, people are beginning to yell at me to get rid of my fat girl clothes! We have worked very hard to achieve these goals (and will continue to do so) and with bathing suit season rapidly approaching, I need you to get your shit together so I can start trying on bikinis without having a panic attack and crying in the dressing room.

Sincerely,

Michelle’s I just  lost fifty pounds new body

P.s. Could you also try hiding the dumb blonde people are starting to notice. Thanks

 

 

Hot Diggity Dog

Basically the only thing I learned from counting calories was that I could get away with eating two or three donuts and still be under the recommended amount for a day.

I downloaded the app to keep track and keep myself in line since I had started falling off the wagon. Fail! Eating crappy is like running and jumping on a slip n slide. Once you’re on it you sure aren’t stopping until you crash and burn baby CRASH AND BURN. I’m kidding it wasn’t that bad, or at least it’s not that bad yet. Luckily, I continue to workout and have yet to gain anything back. Actually still lost more.

I love working out. I just really really love food too. All food, I’m not biased. Healthy, not healthy whatever, I’ll eat it. Mmmmmmmm and alcohol. How the hell to people stay in check with their eating habits?? Just trying to find a happy medium over here. Which surely isn’t easy Co owning a donut business….. Whoa is me!

I get asked a lot what I eat, do I meal prep and plan or follow a diet plan. No, no I don’t prep any meal and literally have no idea how to plan a meal, or anything in my life for that matter. How the hell am I supposed to know what I’m going to want to eat in four days????? So here’s what o I eat. REAL FOOD. REAL FOOD. No processed, boxed up prepackaged crap. Even with the bad food creeping back into my life (mostly sweets) I still eat a fair amount of real food, definitely no fast food. I quit liking soda last year when I was pregnant (thank you little baby!)

I think my life goal for eating is to just eat real food. There’s just some things I will never go back to because of how disgusting they taste after have the real deal, changing my taste buds and making them snobs. Boxed mashed potatoes. Lunchables. Hot pockets. I’ve become picky about pizza and sauce. Bread. Store bought eggs are utterly disgusting.  There’s so much….. Hot dogs. Ugh gross.

 

Peace!! ✌

P.s. I have a billion blogs half written and I just suck at finding the time to put it on here!!!!!

 

 

 

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 This will be short and sweet. I just have a few things to say about this side by side comparison. First of all I’d like to point out how well my sense of fashion as improved. Okay okay I’ll be honest I don’t pick out my own clothes anymore because I suck at it…. But whatever. And next, I’d like to note that my knees have rolls. SERIOUSLY THERE IS FUCKING FAT ROLLS ON MY KNEES. That is all. Good day sir.

(#1July. #2October. #3January.)

A Lifetime of Looking Fat Vs. A Few Classes of Looking “Stupid”

Every workout was different. Physically and mentally. Physically I could feel myself getting stronger by the day. Not so much at the gym, that shit was still hard AF. But getting up off the floor, walking up the stairs, shoot just walking in general, and most of all carrying my children around. Also, after having Halen there was something wrong with my left leg. It was swollen (not a blood clot, I think…) but nobody goes to the doctors nowadays. Anyway that went away once i started becoming active. Now I carry both kids (with the baby in the heavy ass carseat and the three year old sleeping) up steps, mom beast mode. Pretty sure it is about 900 pounds total…

I can’t even begin to explain how good I would feel after a workout. THANK YOU ENDORPHINS. They sure do make you feel fantastic. Serotonin, hell yes pleeeeaaaase. Walking out of there feeling sweaty, accomplished, happy, confident, and clear minded. Speaking of clear minded, the conversations i would have afterwards were that of scholars, haha just kidding. But I did spew amazing profanities  at cars when the road rage would kick in on the drive home. You know, instead of saying things like “o dear, I can not believe that little fella over there just cut me off, he must be in a hurry I will just let him get in front of me there” I said things that normal adults say and I’m sure I don’t need to go in to details you all know what you yell at other drivers. Always super hyped up when I left the gym. Hoping that feeling would last until I got home and I would clean clean clean the house!

There are so many thoughts that run through my mind while working out. Such as worrying about what you look like. I feel like once you come to terms with the fact that you will look like the chubby little fat kid trying to keep up, struggling and taking breaks but you just keep going and going. Soon you will realize that, frankly, no one gives a fuck what you look like but you. Most of the people there are to get their workout on and haven’t glanced at you once. They all had to start somewhere too. Doing one push up, 3 squats and walking instead of running.  Just know that you WILL get stronger and build up your stamina and endurance and feel and look glorious!!!! I’ve never been happier that I made the decision to look stupid and to keep going to the gym/classes.