Suck It Up Buttercup

I’m not trying to get sued or anything for using the real names of the gym and trainers so I will use fake ones. Let’s just call the gym Maximum Effects and the trainer and owner, life saver and motivator, we will call him Vince.

So i start telling people that Chris signed us up for three months of Maximum Effects. Most people had never heard of it and those that had all said the same things “O! wow that place is like some drill sergeant crap” “I always hear the music and have wanted to try it but it looks scary” “You what? I see the people coming out of there looking like death,  red faced and sweaty. I can’t believe you joined” “I tried it once. Not for me. Hard as fuck.Good luck” And my personal favorite  was from Chris when I asked what it was like after his first class and if they make sure you do the workout correctly “They just kind of throw you out to the wolves” Which was not even true, I think he just said that to scare me.

Finally a week later, I walked into Maximum Effects. Scared out of my mind. Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what type of people I would encounter. Who would be watching. Who would be judging. Am I going to die? I can’t run, my boobs are too big, I’ll fall over or get a black eye. What if I had a wardrobe malfunction and my pants rip? I am so clumsy, I hope I don’t fall and bust my face. What if i throw up like Chris did. Ugh. So many things could go wrong.


I meet Vince. Vince who is slightly intimidating with his gold tooth and tattoos.Vince who has a very serious tone like he might flip out at any minute. I don’t think he smiled. He had me sign some papers and tells me there is one rule “You can do whatever you want, yell at me, curse at me, hit me, I don’t give a fuck. But you HAVE to stay on your fists DO NOT GO ON YOUR FLAT HANDS during the workout”. We have padded gloves that we wear during class and when doing push ups or other workouts we need to be on our fists. I don’t think I can even attempt to describe what the classes are like. It’s a full body workout, cardio, weights, box jumps and whatever the trainer at time feels like torturing us with at the time. I struggled. I struggled pretty darn bad with that first workout. I struggled physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn’t realize how OUT OF SHAPE I had become. I mean, I knew I had a hard time getting up off the floor after playing with my toddler down there or that i had a hard time carrying the baby in the car seat. But it was just a part of life.. It made me sad, it made me hate me for allowing it to get this bad. However, I did survive the first day. Vince paired me with someone who had been going a while and she helped me. Showed me the ropes and kept me from getting lost in the confusion. And I survived. I didn’t quit, and found out later that the girl who had been helping me left her first workout 40 minutes in and didn’t come back for a few weeks. Also, that it is very common for people to puke. But, I was ready to run out to my car because i was going to start crying (apparently that is common too LOL) and I didn’t want anyone to notice. Of course, i did not make it to my car. Vince pulled me aside and wanted to talk. I can’t even remember exactly what we talked about. I just know that he was encouraging me to come back and not to quit and that I need to be there. He was right. I looked around at the people in there and thought about how they weren’t always fit and might have once been fat and unhealthy and that they had to start somewhere. So right then and there I made up my mind that I was coming back no matter what.

Welp, I am off to do 300 lunges.

Peace Out






Now that I have been working out for six months it might be a little hard to go back to the beginning. But I’m going to do my best to recap!

Same old song and dance… I got fat. My life was full of bad habits, popping out babies and inactivity. Chris and I talked about losing weight and eating healthy for far too long. He joined Planet Fitness (lasted like a month and a waste of money), I bought a treadmill (that was an effing joke and ended up being a free curb alert item to the first person who came along). I had friends ask me to join a gym and be their workout buddy, my response was “No fool, I know I won’t get up to go to the gym, I’m not even trying to waste my money!!!”

After  nine hundred years of being pregnant, 41 weeks and 3 days to be exact, with baby number two I had that super duper hot mom bod going on. Note the sarcasm… After my first daughter, I lost thirty pounds almost instantly thank you breastfeeding! But after the second kiddo I literally lost five pounds. THE BABY WEIGHED EIGHT POUNDS TWO OUNCES how does that even work. So I was just over 200LBS. I lost about five more pounds after returning to work.

The same week that i returned to work Chris calls me and says “Hey, we joined that gym that we keep hearing and talking about. It’s already paid for three months so we have no reason not to go”

July 2016


I’m just going to go ahead and post this flattering photo right here since I have that atrocious one at the top. Where o where have my many chins gone, where o where can they be??? October 201614681640_10157630555390357_2074972251310244128_n